Martia’ Holloway
October 16, 2011
Nonfiction I
Essay # 4
I bore a letter across my chest like; Hester wore her A in the Scarlett Letter. However, the letter I wore wasn't an A, nor was it B or C, and not even D. This letter ruined my life and some of the best relationships I have ever encountered. It wasn’t E, or F. This letter was in the beginning of the alphabet and not so much the end. This was my letter to symbolize something far greater than the A, Hester wore with grace. I couldn’t take pride in my letter, and I dare not wear it across my chest. It wasn’t the letter P, because I had forgotten how to pray. It wasn’t the letter G, because I had lost that close relationship with God.
The Scarlett Letter is the story of Hester Prynne, who conceives a daughter through an adulterous affair and struggles to create a new life of Repentance and dignity. Throughout the book, Hawthorne explores themes of legalism, sin, and guilt.
I struggle with my letter to find someone who will accept it, someone who will love me no matter what. Or am I like Hester and my only options are; to wear this letter with pride, to love me, and to find dignity in myself no matter what letter I own.
Question:
What if we all had to wear a letter that told the truth about us or who we were?
A is for Adultery
B is for Babies
C is for Currency
D is for Death
E is for Economy
F is for Failure
Failure, something I feared like Death, something that meant so much in my life, but it wasn't my letter. I can't bear to tell the world and its only one place I feel this letter would be okay. Climb through my ears, walk about a mile and you will be in this place. Once inside, it will be really dark and hollow, so remember to bring your flash light. Watch out for all the words passing by, those are just my thoughts, and when I’m really angry you’ll hear a loud noise; that’s me yelling inside my head when I’ve had enough.
Answer:
Some of us would be hiding!
Explore every inch of my mind, because that’s the only way you’ll know exactly who I ‘am or what I’m feeling. You’ll see the letter I’m talking about, but it will be in word form instead of one letter. It will scare the shit out of you, but don’t run out the other side, please don’t. I’ve had enough of that. Just try to understand me and what I’m thinking. We all have sinned, and we all have suffered the consequence of sins.
Sin: any act regarded as such a transgression, especially a willful or deliberate violation of some religious or moral principle.
I was suffering this consequence of my own sins. But it wasn’t the letter C, K, or the letter L, not even M or N. It wasn’t at the end of the alphabet or the beginning, maybe not quite the middle either.
K is for Kill
L is for Love (if you believe in that)
M is for Many
N is for Nigga (the slang way)
Questions: What is Love?
Is love the reason Hester wore the A, is love the reason why she committed the A? Isn’t it ironic that my letter causes people who love me, to never accept that part of me? L is for love, but also lust, loser, last, and late. All the things we associate with being horrible.
Answer: Who honestly know the truth?
Inside this place, you will hear music (cover your ears); those are the songs I love. You will see regrets, accomplishments, and fears. All the things I chose not to speak, nor wear across my chest. Or is it that way only to me? While inside this place, you will see who I’ am as a person, my sins, my likes, and dislikes, you will see my letter.
It’s not Z, Q, or S.
Z is for Zoo (that’s what this world is)
Q is for Quitter (which I will never do)
S is for Sorry (I only apologize)
Dignity: bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation.
Listen, I bore a letter across my chest like Scarlett wore her A; however I didn’t wear my letter literally, just wore the scars.
I love this Tia... It is really Deep!!!
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